How to Create a Parenting Plan That Works for Everyone

February 10, 2025

Going through a separation or divorce is tough, but when kids are involved, it can feel even more overwhelming. The good news? A solid parenting plan can help create stability, set expectations, and reduce conflict—giving your children the structure and support they need.

Let’s walk through how to create a parenting plan that actually works for everyone involved.

What Is a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan is a written agreement that outlines how separated or divorced parents will share responsibilities for raising their child. Think of it as a roadmap that covers key aspects of co-parenting, including:

  • Where the child will live
  • How parenting time will be shared
  • How decisions will be made (education, health, activities, etc.)
  • How communication will work between parents and children

This plan should focus on one thing above all else: what’s best for your child.

Why Do You Need a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan isn’t just a piece of paper—it’s a tool that prevents misunderstandings and reduces future conflict. When both parents know exactly what to expect, it makes co-parenting smoother and less stressful.

Gives kids consistency and stability
Minimizes conflict between parents
Prevents confusion over schedules and responsibilities
Helps parents co-parent effectively without unnecessary drama

Even if you and your ex get along well, it’s smart to have a written plan in place so there are no surprises down the road.

Key Elements of a Strong Parenting Plan

Every family is different, but a good parenting plan should cover the following areas:

1. Parenting Time (Custody & Access)

This outlines who the child will live with and when. Will one parent have primary custody, or will you share time equally? Common schedules include:

  • Week-on, week-off
  • 2-2-3 schedule (Parent A has Mon-Tues, Parent B has Wed-Thurs, then they alternate weekends)
  • Alternating weekends with mid-week visits

Think about your child’s age, school, and activities when deciding on a schedule. Be realistic and flexible—kids' needs change as they grow.

2. Holidays & Special Occasions

Who gets the kids on holidays, birthdays, and special events? Some parents rotate each year (e.g., one parent has Christmas one year, the other has it the next). Others split the day in half.

Also, consider how you’ll handle summer vacations and other breaks.

3. Decision-Making (Legal Custody)

Who makes big decisions about education, healthcare, and religion? Options include:

  • Joint decision-making (both parents agree on major issues)
  • Sole decision-making (one parent has the final say)
  • Divided decision-making (each parent handles certain areas, e.g., one decides education, the other handles healthcare)

Even if you share decision-making, include a tie-breaker process in case you can’t agree on something.

4. Communication Between Parents

How will you stay in touch about your child’s needs? Options include:

  • Text or email updates
  • Shared online calendar for scheduling
  • A co-parenting app (like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents)

Setting clear communication boundaries helps prevent misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments.

5. Communication With the Child

Your child should have the freedom to contact either parent whenever they want. Set expectations for phone calls, video chats, and messages, especially if one parent lives farther away.

6. Travel & Relocation

If one parent wants to move far away, how will that impact custody? Include details about:

  • How much notice is required before a move
  • Who pays for travel expenses
  • Whether the move will require adjustments to parenting time

7. Handling Disagreements

No matter how good your parenting plan is, disagreements will happen. Decide in advance how you’ll handle them. Some options:

  • Mediation first before going to court
  • Having a neutral third party help resolve disputes
  • Reviewing the plan every year to adjust as needed

A good plan is flexible—things will change, and that’s okay.

Tips for Making It Work

Keep It Child-Focused – This plan isn’t about what’s “fair” for you or your ex—it’s about what’s best for your child.

Be Realistic & Flexible – Life happens. Work schedules change, kids get sick, plans shift. Build some flexibility into your agreement.

Stay Civil & Keep Emotions Out of It – This isn’t about winning or losing. Co-parenting is a long-term commitment—staying respectful makes it easier for everyone, especially your child.

Get It in Writing – Even if you and your ex are on great terms, a written plan prevents confusion and protects everyone involved.

Consider Legal Advice – A lawyer can help make sure your parenting plan is fair, legally sound, and enforceable.

Creating a parenting plan isn’t just about who gets the kids when—it’s about building a framework that works for your family. When done right, it helps reduce conflict, sets clear expectations, and most importantly, provides stability for your child.

Need help crafting a parenting plan that fits your unique situation? Book a free consultation today, and let’s find a solution that works for you and your family.

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